As I ask the first few questions, I get the sense that even answering them draws from an energy reserve that is almost dry. As Connor opens up, my initial sense is confirmed, he’s barely hanging on. “I don’t know how long its been since I’ve been swallowed up by the routine of life. Wake up after a restless sleep. Coffee. Drive to work, taking the same route. Engage in similar mind numbing conversation with colleagues. Count down until the day is over. Drive home.” With sadness in his voice, he continues: “I love my family but lately I feel like I’ve been watching them from the other side of plexiglass. I show up as I always have to the … [Read more]

How Much Happy Is in Your Holidays ?

~Happy Holidays~ Each year, around this time, many of my clients express to me their uneasiness about the holiday season. Many enter the season holding sadness about a missing family member, pain about unresolved relationships, and uncertainty about what to do to create a greater sense of ease at family gatherings. This, along with the combination of typical holiday stressors – rushing around to buy gifts, worrying about money, feeling lonely or overwhelmed that seems opposite to the holiday cheer that surrounds you, along with the temptation to overeat and over-drink at every turn, and the awkward uncertainty of not knowing what to say when visiting with Inappropriate Uncle Jeff or that aunt who always seems so withdrawn and sad. … [Read more]

Do You Give Too Much?      

What if you had insights into your earliest experiences in life, to give you clues for why you need what you do in your relationships?  What the body remembers leaves clues for the challenges we face today. Lauren came into my office wanting to explore what had contributed to the end of her 10 year marriage.  Still reeling from her husband’s announcement that he was leaving her for the “other woman”.  Her greatest fear had come to light.  She was alone.  What was worse, alone at night, scared, vulnerable and most of all angry. As we worked together, I invited her to explore the inner territory of the sensations that lived in her body.  This opened up new insights about … [Read more]

Our Earliest Imprint

Our most deeply ingrained lessons about how to be in relationship develop in the womb. From the moment of conception we develop in relationship. The experience in the womb shapes the brain and lays the groundwork for personality and emotional temperament. Did you know that the way we acted as a teenager has something to reveal about our current needs in a relationship? As an infant our brain is patterning after our caretaker’s brain, there is a lot of neural selection that goes on at this time. That means what is kept and what is pruned is based on our caregiving environment. We have the least developed brain at birth, of any other animal born, we come into life the most dependant on our … [Read more]

How Your Family Imprint Affects Your Relationship Choices

Interview with Stacey Brookman during the Emotional Abuse Recovery and Resilience Summit If you enjoyed this video perhaps you would enjoy this article: Why Many Marriages Fizzle Out and What You Can Do About It

Our Parents Within Us

As the workshop began, Sandra shared that the therapist she worked with last year suggested cutting off the relationship  with her parents because it was too stressful for her to keep engaging with them. The truth is the connection to our parents can’t be cut off.    Within our body we are half our mom and half our dad. They are our roots, our sense of belonging, we literally get our sense of self from them. Even if we move across the country from them to “get some space”, we bring them with us, within us. Some believe that when their parents die, then they will finally be free of the challenges. Yet you still interact with your parents in … [Read more]

How To Resolve Painful Patterns From Past Generations

In this episode we talk about – What influences relationship choices on a subconscious level How do our earliest experience influence how we show up in our relationships The hidden elements feed frustration and/or distance in long term relationships When there is hurt in a relationship, why forgiveness is usually not quite enough I also offers suggestion for the listeners who are challenged by co-parenting dynamics If you enjoyed this video perhaps you would enjoy this article: Why Many Marriages Fizzle Out and What You Can Do About It or this article: Your Life Leaves Clues

Why Many Marriages Fizzle Out and What You Can Do About It

Many people think love is what happens when you first meet. Where did we ever get this idea of love at 1st sight ?  Was it love’s first kiss to awaken the princess that we watched as a little girl that set up the idea of love at 1st sight ? Then as adults this love at 1st sight promise is found in romance novels along with romantic comedy movies to keep this concept alive. Many clients come into my office and say: “I’m just not IN love anymore” or “I just don’t feel heard or supported by my spouse, like I used to” Usually the unresolved issues that we push under the rug keep tempers short and tensions running … [Read more]

Anxiety & Our Children

What is behind the rising epidemic of anxiety in children today? Learn about what YOU can do to support your child.   If you enjoyed this article perhaps you would enjoy this audio: How DNA Influences Your Child

Our Love Imprint

As I turn on my computer to log in for the first session with Leanne and Chris, before anyone says a word, I notice right away how tight her mouth is and sad her eyes are. I notice Chris settles uncomfortably into his chair, it was clear to see how unsure he felt about our first appointment. The questions I ask are designed to get to the heart of the matter, so right away I discover there are two young children observing Mom and Dad yelling at each other or stonewalling mixed into family life. I begin the session by asking Leanne to describe her parents. “Tell me about your mom, Leanne”, I ask warmly to set them both at … [Read more]