Our Earliest Imprint

Our most deeply ingrained lessons about how to be in relationship develop in the womb. From the moment of conception we develop in relationship. The experience in the womb shapes the brain and lays the groundwork for personality and emotional temperament. Did you know that the way we acted as a teenager has something to reveal about our current needs in a relationship? As an infant our brain is patterning after our caretaker’s brain, there is a lot of neural selection that goes on at this time. That means what is kept and what is pruned is based on our caregiving environment. We have the least developed brain at birth, of any other animal born, we come into life the most dependant on our … [Read more]

How Your Family Imprint Affects Your Relationship Choices

Interview with Stacey Brookman during the Emotional Abuse Recovery and Resilience Summit If you enjoyed this video perhaps you would enjoy this article: Why Many Marriages Fizzle Out and What You Can Do About It

Our Parents Within Us

As the workshop began, Sandra shared that the therapist she worked with last year suggested cutting off the relationship  with her parents because it was too stressful for her to keep engaging with them. The truth is the connection to our parents can’t be cut off.    Within our body we are half our mom and half our dad. They are our roots, our sense of belonging, we literally get our sense of self from them. Even if we move across the country from them to “get some space”, we bring them with us, within us. Some believe that when their parents die, then they will finally be free of the challenges. Yet you still interact with your parents in … [Read more]

How To Resolve Painful Patterns From Past Generations

In this episode we talk about – What influences relationship choices on a subconscious level How do our earliest experience influence how we show up in our relationships The hidden elements feed frustration and/or distance in long term relationships When there is hurt in a relationship, why forgiveness is usually not quite enough I also offers suggestion for the listeners who are challenged by co-parenting dynamics If you enjoyed this video perhaps you would enjoy this article: Why Many Marriages Fizzle Out and What You Can Do About It or this article: Your Life Leaves Clues

Why Many Marriages Fizzle Out and What You Can Do About It

Many people think love is what happens when you first meet. Where did we ever get this idea of love at 1st sight ?  Was it love’s first kiss to awaken the princess that we watched as a little girl that set up the idea of love at 1st sight ? Then as adults this love at 1st sight promise is found in romance novels along with romantic comedy movies to keep this concept alive. Many clients come into my office and say: “I’m just not IN love anymore” or “I just don’t feel heard or supported by my spouse, like I used to” Usually the unresolved issues that we push under the rug keep tempers short and tensions running … [Read more]

Anxiety & Our Children

What is behind the rising epidemic of anxiety in children today? Learn about what YOU can do to support your child.   If you enjoyed this article perhaps you would enjoy this audio: How DNA Influences Your Child

Our Love Imprint

As I turn on my computer to log in for the first session with Leanne and Chris, before anyone says a word, I notice right away how tight her mouth is and sad her eyes are. I notice Chris settles uncomfortably into his chair, it was clear to see how unsure he felt about our first appointment. The questions I ask are designed to get to the heart of the matter, so right away I discover there are two young children observing Mom and Dad yelling at each other or stonewalling mixed into family life. I begin the session by asking Leanne to describe her parents. “Tell me about your mom, Leanne”, I ask warmly to set them both at … [Read more]

Celebrating Father’s Day With Your Emotionally Distant Dad

When I see my husband play with our son, I can clearly see how much has changed within just one generation related to how emotionally available father’s are to their children. His own father overwhelmed with work and providing for the family matched with emotional closures left over from his own father’s trauma from World War II kept their relationship distant. This emotional history for his Dad kept them from simply playing, laughing and connecting together with ease throughout their father – son relationship.   How do you experience your relationship with your father? Does being alone with your father make you feel awkward or uncomfortable? Do you sometimes feel that your dad doesn’t actually know you very well? Are … [Read more]

Quenching the Need for Love with Coca~Cola

As our session began, Gloria shared “I’ve been drinking 3 – 5 Coke’s since my teens … so I guess I’m coming close to 30 years now. I stopped for awhile, I don’t think my stomach could take anymore. When the habit took hold again, I decided Diet Coke could be a better choice.” Health issues aside for a moment, what Gloria felt was even worse was the sense of powerlessness she felt to change the habit. What she wanted most was to feel free. Free of the embarrassment she felt when she passed the recycling bin with the overflowing empty cans, free to make healthier choices, free to set a better example for her children. Gloria grew up in … [Read more]