Repairing Relationships in a Divided World

We are living in a time when everything feels urgent and polarized. Caring deeply about various situations in the world has started to cost us the people who matter most, leaving us on opposite sides of a line we never meant to draw. It seems that somewhere between your truth and theirs, a line got drawn that neither of you knows how to cross.

Take one look at a headline and you know, we’re all carrying more than we were built to hold.

Have you experienced a moment when you’re laughing at something and think, “Oh, she would love this,” and then remember, you don’t send things to each other anymore.

There are days when a stranger’s comment on social media makes you question humanity.

There are moments when the comments you disagree with come from your sister, or a dear friend you grew up with. That’s when it really hurts. Because now it isn’t just about being misunderstood, it’s about losing a person who you never thought you’d have to live without.

For so many of us, when disagreement creeps into the relationships that matter most, we might avoid certain topics altogether because risking the conversation feels like risking the whole relationship. So we pretend it’s fine, maybe we don’t text back or avoid getting together. We tiptoe around the elephant in the room, quietly hoping it leaves on its own.

It seems that we’re living in a time when it’s easier than ever to avoid people and harder than ever to reach back across. We read articles that act like permission, with headlines like Protect your peace. Set boundaries. You don’t owe anyone anything.

While those things are true, it seems that somewhere in our collective awakening to what we don’t have to tolerate, we’ve also lost some capacity for what relationships have always required, discomfort, repair, the willingness to explore the misunderstanding. Healthy boundaries aren’t about shutting people out, they’re about staying anchored to yourself while remaining open to exploring differing perspectives. Boundaries keep you rooted in who you are, even when someone else sees the world differently.

When a friendship ends or a family relationship goes cold, we can get stuck on the issue. The disagreement or the blame or the thing they said or didn’t say.

I understand the impulse to protect yourself or the hurt that comes from feeling misunderstood. I have had important relationships drastically changed by a single conversation that went sideways or by the conversation we never had at all. The work of supporting people navigate fractured relationships, has become one of the most sacred parts of my practice. Because I’ve been there, I know what it feels like to miss someone and resent them at the same time.

To rehearse conversations at 2 am that you’ll probably never have. To wonder if reaching out would make things better or just reopen the wound.

I’ve also learned that repair isn’t about going back to how things were. It’s about deciding whether there’s a way forward that honors both of you.

With that in mind, what if the problem isn’t that we disagree, it’s that we’ve lost the skills to navigate disagreement without feeling like it’s the end of the relationship?

Somewhere along the way, we felt that being understood means being agreed with. So when someone says, ‘I see it differently’ - oftentimes we hear something like - ‘You’re wrong’ When they don’t validate our perspective, we assume they don’t value us. We can’t separate our worth from whether or not someone shares our worldview.

So we either fight harder or we disappear. We defend our position like our worth depends on it, or we withdraw completely to protect ourselves from the feeling of not being understood.

Let’s explore a third option, learning to stay present with difference. To hold your truth and make space for theirs. To say what you need to say without requiring them to carry it the way you do.

Here’s what I’m learning in my own life and in my work with clients …

Every relationship we walk away from without attempting repair teaches our nervous system that disconnection is safer than vulnerability.

If you’re holding a fractured relationship right now, maybe there’s a situation you can’t stop thinking about, someone you miss and resent in equal measure, I want to invite you to a live circle with a focus on Repairing Relationships in a Divided World. We’ll explore what it actually takes to bridge the gap when distance has grown or differences in perspective have created fractures.

People with history together, with shared memories, are assuming that misunderstanding means misalignment. We’re interpreting silence as rejection and reading reactivity as a final verdict.

We’ll sit with the quiet fractures we’re all feeling and explore what it takes to mend them or grieve them with grace. Not through forced forgiveness, but through honest, grounded practices that help you discern what’s worth fighting for and how to stay soft enough to try. Join Us in Thrive.one a place to explore, learn, and find support as you navigate what it means to be human.