There is a long-standing fascination with the Royal Family. This is likely what makes The Crown such a popular series.
When I watched the latest episodes of The Crown, there was a surprising systemic understanding of what Prince Charles, Princess Diana & Dodi Fayed All Have In Common
They each lived their lives seeking the approval of a parent. Each navigated life in pursuit of parental approval, a dynamic that significantly influenced their choices, ultimately shaping their lives.
Diana shared she learned to play the piano to try to gain her Dad’s attention. She wrote him letters from boarding school every week. When at home she ironed his shirts and baked him cakes in an attempt to please him and gain his approval, but it seemed elusive. In the series, she shared that she even married the Prince of Whales to gain her father’s approval.
Princess Diana mentioned feeling unloved by her father during an interview with BBC’s Panorama in 1995. This struggle with her father’s love and approval was a significant aspect of her life.
Prince Charles also separated early from his parents and sent off to boarding school. When he fell in love, it was with Camilla Parker Bowles before he married Diana. The pressure to marry Diana was steeped in Royal traditions and expectations for a suitable match.
Diana’s captivating personality made her the favored choice of the Royal family as the next in line for Queen. The significance of Prince Charles’s choice of a spouse seemed diminished at the time, but as the years unfolded, it became evident that this decision would cause considerable pain for everyone involved.
Dodi’s father, Mohamed, an Egyptian billionaire who longed to enter the inner circle of the British upper class. Mohamed did everything he could to encourage Dodi and Diana’s romance thinking that this would finally be his IN to create belonging with the Royal family.
The Royal family judged him as a desperate social climber who couldn’t quite grasp the elusive rules by which the upper class live. He applied to become a British citizen twice, and both times he was denied.
In the series, he told his son by marrying Diana “you will finally make me proud, then you will be my equal”. There was so much pressure to win his father’s approval through his romance with Diana.
Encouraged by his father, the ill-fated trip to Paris—where Dodi and Diana met their tragic car accident—prevailed over Diana’s inclination to return to England and be with her beloved sons.
When your life feels governed by the need to win a parent’s approval, rather than simply experiencing their unconditional love, it can create a sense that love must be earned. This sets up your life to live by their idea of what is right for you or expected from you instead of following your own inner compass.
As you reflect on your own life’s decisions, how much of it has been shaped by your parent’s expectations of you?
Many of my clients have shared they are a business owner, lawyer, or physician because their parents were or it’s the career path they wanted for them.
Have you simply walked into a role in the family business, not of choice by instead by expectation?
Do you work beyond your own limits because strong work ethic was praised in your family?
The life experiences of Prince Charles, Princess Diana, and Dodi Fayed remind us that living authentically requires breaking away from the gravitational pull of external expectations, even from our own family.
The importance of breaking free from the constraints of seeking approval is your most direct path to reclaim authenticity. Living life with the courage to follow your own path, fueled by your own choices and convictions, free from the limitations of seeking outside approval.
Over the years, I’ve learned that choosing my own path, even when it weaves away from the familial expectations of those I love, is a radical act of self-love. Holding my boundaries, even if my loved ones can’t understand them, is not a rejection of our connection but instead, the way to keep these important relationships healthy.
Living this way often demands bravery to disappoint those I love. Choosing authenticity over conformity, even if it means unsettling the familiar, is an act of living from my truest self and an invitation for others to meet me in the raw, messy beauty of our shared humanity.
What step could you take to live more authentically YOU ?